Friends. I have been MIA since November. My apologies. I always hated following a blog where the writer would just go missing after a few months of good content, and here I did it to you. My apologies.
I have been honestly crazy busy — I launched a new business — eek! Can you hear my excitement? It has been a dream of mine to own my own company and do something to help others. And here I am!
INTRODUCING: Health and Wellness with Jessica Lorello. I offer group sessions for new and expecting mothers where we talk about all of the things no one talks about! For instance, FMLA — who teaches you to complete that paperwork? Childcare — how do you know what you are looking for in a daycare, stay at home nanny, or even what it takes to be a stay at home parent? We talk about the differences between doctors, doulas, certified nurse midwives, nurse practitioners, etc. We talk about your rights in the hospital and how to keep hospital costs down, different types of birthing strategies, navigating your insurance, navigating tough conversations with your partner, and there is even a session just for dads. I wish I had something like this when I was pregnant with my first baby.
Along with prenatal education, I have a group session for postpartum women and women entering the 4th trimester. Both are very informative to that new mother navigating their way through life with a newborn.
I also offer 1:1 coaching/mentoring for college students and recently graduated college students who might be having a tough time. You know when you receive your first paycheck out of college and you blow it all on one night at the bar? Yeah, I can help with that. Or now you work 8-5 with a 30 minute commute each way, how are you suppose to wake up so early? How are you suppose to have time to do anything fun? Yeah, I can help with that too. Is your college student struggling to have a consistent schedule day to day? Are they partying too much or are they just not communicating with you? Maybe their eating habits are not positively contributing to their learning.. I can help. Finances and time management seem to be the most difficult for college students and recent graduates, hire me and I can help.
Visit my website: http://www.wellnessbyjlo.com — sign up for a service. I assure you that you will not be disappointed. I am beyond passionate about this and I am excited to work with all of you. We all have hard times, and while it might be hard to ask for help, it is okay. I am giving you the okay. IT IS OKAY TO ASK FOR HELP.
In advance, I want to thank you all for your support. This has been a long process to get to this place and the support I have received has been unbelievable. Thank you.
I love hosting people at my house. Did I say LOVE… I LOVE hosting people at my house. I love everything that goes into it: cleaning, prepping a menu, grocery shopping, planning fun things for everyone to do together, researching new fun places.. ALL OF IT! I love it.
Not only do I love the planning, but I love the hustle and bustle of people in my home, good conversations, kids playing, blankets and people snuggled on couches, fire pits, smore’s, games, memories being made, good food, candles, joy.. pure joy.
I grew up with friends always at my house, my cousins were always at my house, people were always in and out, and it was fun. I want that for my kids, and I want that for my family. I want people to just stop by because they were in the area and thought about us, then they end up staying for dinner and maybe dinner happens in the driveway because the kids are outside playing and the adults get to have nice conversations. I want people to come over and we all do something fun, did I mention that I love having people over?
When I was little my mom, my sister, and I would go to our very best friend’s house (they only lived 5 blocks away) and my mom and my friends mom would do some kind of craft or make pasta or something else that I don’t remember because I was too busy playing with all the kids on the block riding bikes, playing school or office, or house with our babies. It was so much fun! That is what I want for my family.
It’s interesting that those types of relationships don’t exist much anymore, the just stopping in to say hello relationships. Everything seems to be planned, and we are always calling ahead to triple check that it’s okay that we go to someone’s house.. I don’t quite understand that. Mainly because well.. I love when people come over.
How about we stop worrying about is our house a mess… do we have enough food.. does everyone have enough time.. are they going to mad that we stopped by… I don’t have anything to bring.. all the things, stop worrying about them. Just stop by, I promise they will be glad you did. Make the memories. Enjoy the moments. Let time slow down. Enjoy each others company. You won’t regret it. These are the things we are made for.
This weekend we will have 7 adults and 3 children in my home and I COULD NOT BE MORE EXCITED! The hustle and bustle of people I care about and conversations about life are going to be overflowing. The best part is everyone will walk away with a memory and valuable time spent together no matter if the food was good or if the house was clean. That is what fills my cup.
The kindness news station.. would you watch it? Think about CNN but like all the kindness and happy things happening in the world. Would you honestly watch it? I would.
You know what’s funny… most people I asked this question to said no. Why? Why wouldn’t you want to watch the joy and beauty in the world? The answer I got from people: “because I would be too emotional watching all the nice things, plus it would probably get old.” WHAT?! Really? The kind, beautiful, amazing things happening in the world would get old? What about CNN, BBC, or any news station for that matter… does that terrible information ever get old? But you still watch it!
We spend so much time watching and hearing about the tragedies in the world we have become immune to them. We don’t cry about sad things anymore, we don’t have reactions the same way because we see it all the time. But the fear you can see in someone when you mentions a Kindness News Station is unreal. Why are we afraid of kindness?
Kindness isn’t easy for us, we have to think about it. And then we have to think about not getting recognition for being kind because everyone always wants recognition. How about just be kind? Just be kind to everyone, not just the people you know, but everyone. You don’t know everyone’s story, you literally see people for minutes, sometimes seconds in their day — they have a whole life span of stories that contribute to the kind of person they are — who are you to judge? You are not there to judge. You are there to be kind. Just be kind.
Kindness has 2 sides, the giver and the receiver. The giver of kindness has it’s own challenges, but the receiver of kindness actually has to be open to receiving. What if they are not open to the receipt of kindness? What then!? It doesn’t matter. As the giver of kindness, you are doing it because you want to be kind. Not because the person asked for it, or because they need it. You gave out kindness because you wanted to. But also, we need to open ourselves up to acknowledge and accept kindness no matter how big or small. Don’t fear kindness, allow people to show you the beauty in the world.
The other day I was in the grocery store with my kids. This mother and her 2 kids were following us very closely and I kept wondering what they were doing. I will admit I was wondering in a very negative way saying things in my head like “what is your problem? stop following me and my kids!” About 5 minutes into them following us, her daughter came up to my daughter and said, “I like your unicorn jacket. Where did you get it?” Then the mom chimed in and said, “Sorry, she really liked the jacket and I am trying to teach her how to speak up for herself.” Man did I feel like dirt on the floor. The mom was just trying to teach her daughter how to be kind and I was annoyed. My daughter was so happy and proud that some other little girl liked her unicorn jacket and the girls were able to have a kind conversation about the jacket. I want to be like that mom. I want to teach my daughter kindness. I want to teach her how to give kindness and how to receive it. What a world that would be…
We are in the season of thankfulness. But what if we were in the season of kindness as well. Turn your kindness into someone’s thankful. Be so kind that they are thankful for you that day, then just maybe, they will be kind enough to someone else to be that someone else’s thankful.
Create your own Kindness News Station. Be your own news reporter. What would you report for the day?
Praise! I could not be more happy it is November. It feels like a New Year for me. At least that is what I am treating it like. Do you ever feel like you need a “New Year” in the middle of the year? A time where you make lofty goals and try to revitalize your life?
You know, there is nothing special about January 1. You can restart your year whenever you want. On a Monday, on the 1st of the month. Geez… You can even restart your year on a random Thursday if you want. The new year new beginning is all about a mindset. January 1 has nothing to do with the new-ness of your goals, or the next phase in life. The next phase is whenever you choose to make it a priority to make it the next phase.
I chose November 1 as my next phase. 1. because as you know, I like thanksgiving. 2. October rocked my world. 3. because I need a refresh.
My counselor took me back to May, when I was still fresh on my January goal, which was that 2019 is the year of me. I wanted to focus on things I wanted to do, things I needed. So November is back to that, THE YEAR OF ME!
You know what is funny.. the year of me includes my husband, because I so need and want him in my life. We chose each other and he is one of the best parts of my life. He is something I need in the YEAR OF ME to be my best me.
My kids, no matter how much they push my buttons, are a part of ME, and I need them in the YEAR OF ME to be my best me.
My family, again, no matter how much they frustrate me.. they made me ME, and I need them in the YEAR OF ME to be my best me.
See, I went into this year thinking — honestly — it was going to be all about me, and all the things I needed/wanted/would do to be my best self. Here’s what October taught me, to be my best me, I need all of these people. I can’t be the best me without any of it.
So November… let’s do this. Let’s refresh. Let’s be thankful, let’s be grateful, let’s start a new phase. Happy New Year to me. I am just over here working on the YEAR OF ME with a new perspective in hand.
Death is a weird thing. It’s sad. It brings people together that any other time don’t seem to have time to get together. It’s happy. It’s scary. It’s joyful. It’s disappointing. But most of all, it’s sad.
The word “death” alone is scary and can really send people down a deep dark path.
Others are numb to it. The word “death” may not mean anything to them. We are often hearing about death and dying on the news, so it’s no wonder we are numb to the thought of it. Until it happens to you, then it’s real and alive, and something that I hope becomes thought provoking.
There are so many kinds of ways to die, and that is not the point of this blog.
As you know my grandmother recently passed away, and I saw so much of my family that I haven’t seen in YEARS. YEARS!! I saw my aunt, who I hadn’t seen in over 20 years. How is that possible? Why is it that we reunite over death? My grandmother would have LOVED to see all those people together in the same room when she was alive. My family was together for the first time in years, but it took someone dying for that to happen. Shouldn’t we be making time for this before people die? The memories would be so much sweeter I’m sure of it.
Death is so uncertain. I honestly thought 4 years ago my grandmother was going to pass away. She wasn’t doing well, and I just knew it would happen soon. Boy was I wrong. But that’s just it, we never know when it’s going to happen. So live life. Live it to the fullest everyday! EVERYDAY! Make the time to see those you care about. Make the time to have those tough conversations you are harnessing. Make the time to care.
My grandfather (who I LOVED DEARLY!) passed away almost 6 years ago, and one of my biggest regrets was being in denial that he was going to die. I saw him for the last time 3 weeks before he died, and I left the hospital saying “He will bounce back.” I was in pure denial, I wanted desperately for him to bounce back, and I thought if I willed death away he would stay alive. Not the case folks. If I had one more chance to see him, I would take it in a heartbeat and tell him all the things I should’ve told him in that last time before he died. You are probably thinking… why did you wait so long to tell him? Exactly my point! Don’t wait! Tell people how you feel now. Don’t have any regrets!! I know my grandfather knew how much I loved him and how much I cared for him, but I wanted to tell him I would name my first son after him, and that my grandmother would be fine because we would all take care of her, and that I loved him so much and that I would miss him dearly.
The sadness and grief of ones physical presence missing is indescribable. No more phone calls. No more hugs. No more warmth, comfort, love. It’s a void that can never be replaced we just learn how to exist without it. I am a believer of heaven and earth, and the Lord Almighty, and I take comfort in knowing that the people I love are dancing in heaven joyfully. That doesn’t always make it easy. But it does allow for some comfort.
It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to mourn. It’s okay to be joyful. It’s okay to just be… It’s not okay to have regrets. It’s not okay to think you have tomorrow promised. It’s not okay to just be complacent. Live life. Have tough conversations. Love to the absolute max capacity. Do the best you possibly can with the resources you have. Death is real, and we can’t predict it.
My grandmother passed away recently and during one of her 4 services the priest asked, “Does anyone have anything to say about Alexa?” My uncle spoke 2 sentences, my grandfather (her husband of 65 years) said 2 words fighting tears, and before I could get up and say anything, the priest closed the floor. I thought, man! I missed my opportunity! But I didn’t because even though you didn’t know my grandmother, I am going to write her eulogy on my blog. Enjoy!
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Look closely.. she’s giving a peace sign.
Mami. Tia Nena. Abuela. Alexa. Abuelita. Nena. These are some of the names my grandmother was known by. She was a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a wife, a grandmother, a GREAT-grandmother, and a mother. She was a strong willed, stubborn woman, but it served her well. She came from Cuba to the U.S. and her and her husband worked hard to make a life for their family here. She had 3 boys who were not the easiest to raise, and she worked while raising her 3 sons in a time when it wasn’t the “norm” for women to work.
She always used to tell me how excited she was that I was a girl. I think she always wanted a girl but it never happened for her. So when I came along as the first grandchild, she was over the moon. She would tell me, “When they came out of the delivery room to tell me you were a girl I screamed so loud and pulled my hair because I was so excited.” I believe her, she has always had a special love for me. You know what is funny though? At her services, I learned that this woman had a special love for everyone. All of her family was so special to her in everyway. She wouldn’t have life without her family, she just wouldn’t.
Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday, and beyond the food, I never really knew why. I recently came to my true reason behind my love for Thanksgiving… every year my grandparents would host Thanksgiving. They would put together a long table either outside on their patio or inside their house – my grandmother, her and her sisters, would start cooking 2-3 days prior and on Thanksgiving we would feast. The family would all come over to her house, and it would be loud! Liquor would be flowing, I mean we are Cuban after all, the laughter would be so loud you could hear it down the street. The cars parked all along the road, people hugging, catching up, kids running and playing, and always an anniversary to celebrate. My grandparents. [They were married 65 years.] The food was like none other, the family was vibrant, the holiday was the reason. I still love thanksgiving because with it comes years of memories with family I only saw once a year, and the joy it brought to my grandmothers heart, so much JOY. That is what I will remember. And while I will never be able to replicate the Thanksgiving Joy she shared with us, I can keep it in my heart and have my own memories.
My grandmother was a tough woman, but every once in a while, for her grandchildren, she would let her guard down. One time specifically, my cousin reminded me, that we made her drink wine. Like lots of wine, which to be fair wasn’t really a lot of wine because since she didn’t drink hardly ever it didn’t take her long to feel a buzz, and we made her flip the bird. Yes, you read that correct, we made her put up her middle finger. This woman, a Godly woman, who honestly I don’t ever remember saying a curse word in my presence, put her middle finger up…. And we died laughing. Like that deep belly laugh. Even she was laughing, her face was red – maybe from the wine, but also probably because she was laughing so hard. We couldn’t believe it. That is one for the memory books.
I was 13 when I moved from Florida to Missouri. 13 is tough age anyway, but then moving away from all your friends and family to the middle of no where was so hard. I was a little down, and really didn’t like the fact that we had to move to this new place. My grandparents came to help us move, and my grandmother knew I was sad. She was trying her best to cheer me up but nothing was working… until.. she put on a costume like Jasmine and starting dancing around to gypsy music, moving her hips and dancing around as if she were a belly dancer. Let me remind you this is a conservative woman who until this very day I had not even seen her in a swim suit. But here she is belly dancing with her belly showing trying to cheer me up! I remember laughing so hard, like so hard. At the time, I had no clue what she was doing, she was just being crazy and funny, and making me laugh. But now I see she just wanted me to be happy, and she was going to do whatever she had to do to see a smile on my face.
If she were alive she would be so mad I posted these pictures of her! 🙂
That’s just it. Man she was tough. I don’t say that lightly. She was a tough lady. Not many people would mess with her. She was not a force to be reckon with. But wow. She cared. She wanted the best for her family ALWAYS. My cousin shared with me that before her wedding her dad had passed away and it was a sad time for her and her mother to be planning a wedding without him there. [Her dad was my grandmother’s sister’s son.] My grandmother swooped in and helped. My cousin said she remembers the 2 weeks before her wedding being a breeze and much easier because she knew my grandmother was there and would help with whatever needed to be done. My grandmother couldn’t handle knowing that her family was hurting. She cared too much.
She suffered for 11 years with a condition that no one should have to experience. Her body was freezing up around her. Her mind was completely in tact but her body was slowing freezing. First it was her legs, then it was her arms, then it was her speech, then it took over her body. It was devastating to watch. But you know what? In true tough girl fashion she made the absolute best of it. 7 years ago she came to my wedding – she was still walking, slowly, but walking nonetheless. She said she wouldn’t miss it for the world. I am so grateful she was there. 4 years ago I gave birth to my baby girl, and since she could no longer travel anymore, there was no way I was going to keep her GREAT-grandchild from her, so I flew with my 3 month old and introduced her to her first GREAT-grandchild. That Thanksgiving JOY was all over her face as she was holding my baby girl. 2 years later, I brought my son, her 2nd GREAT-grandchild to meet her. At that point she was bedridden and while she couldn’t really interact, she had the joy of meeting him and seeing him.
It’s hard for me to think she is really gone. It’s just a weird thing. I will say, I am joyful that she is not suffering anymore. It was very difficult for me to watch this woman who was always moving, always using her hands to sew, cook, or love her family, be bed ridden and unable to do the things she loves. She lived a full life, doing all the things she wanted. She certainly left a legacy in all 8 of her grandchildren, and especially with me. I loved that woman fiercely. [The older I get the more I see some of her qualities in me.] May she rest in peace and belly dance with all of her family up in heaven.
the honest truth 